Make it Worth Something

It dawned on me today that I need to reword my prayers. When going through a rough time, I’ve always prayed “God, what lesson are you trying to teach me?” But that's really putting the blame on God for the situation I’m in. He’s not! The situation is caused by the choices I make, other people make, and the sinful world we live in. I shouldn’t be putting that on God. Instead, my prayer should be “God, what can I learn from this? How can I grow from this?” The wording now puts the blame where it should be and puts God in a position to walk me through it. Which brings me to my next point.

If I have to go through this “shitty” situation, I need to “make it worth something”. Again, I have no control over the twists and turns of this life, but I do have control over how I react. I have faith that God will bring me through it and my prayers need to change from “God, help me get through it”, “God, make it better” to “God, if I have to do this, make it worth something. Change me, use me, bring something great out of it.” Because if I have to go down and through the coal mine, get dirty, sweaty, tired, at least I can come up with a diamond.

I’ve gone through some pretty “shitty” coal mines. My mentality has been to "just survive", "make it through". I would crawl out on the other side completely exhausted just to find out another mine is forming in the distance. 

I don’t want to waste any more years just "surviving". Situations are going to keep coming, that’s the world we live in, but instead of surviving them, I want to thrive in them. I want to become stronger, I want to inspire, I want to use them to better myself. So, my new prayer is “God, make it worth something!”

What in the world!? I have a blog!?

Soooo, it's been a minute. Like, a long minute. To be completely honest, I totally forgot I had this blog. Did some "spring cleaning"...and by "spring cleaning" what I mean is I archived ALL my old posts. A fresh start on a blog whose existence I forgot about. 

No matter, I'm here now and I chose to use this as a means to put out random thoughts from a person who can in no way actually organize her own thoughts. You're welcome. Sometimes they will make sense, other times they won't. (The grammar will be atrocious; that’s a guarantee.) Free therapy, right? My existence as a person isn't real unless it's out on social media...and I don't care for social media much, so blogger it is. 

 In all seriousness, though, I like to get my thoughts out of my head to free up space. I've been doing it on a google doc or in my journal for most of my life and I thought, "What the hell, let's post them and see if someone out there can relate." This is going to be... fun?...interesting?...helpful?...well, it will be something that’s for sure.